JESUS, I WILL TRY AGAIN.

“Sir,” Simon replied, “we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But if You say so, WE’LL TRY AGAIN.”

Luke 5:5 (TLB)

Thanks to my step mum, Mama Mercy, I encountered the mercy of God at the age of 12. I officially recited the sinners’ prayer at the then Winners Chapel International Headquarters, now Winners Chapel Ghana. Though I have been going to church since birth, this was a special year and it was all joy for me. I was so eager to work for God that I lied about my age to the Teens’ Department Head of CCU to join the team. Before that, from the day I walked into Winners Chapel with my step mum I had hated children’s service that I mostly spent my offering outside till service ended. If I couldn’t stay with her in the adult service, then it was time to visit the food sellers outside. So, when I finally accepted Christ, I had to find a way to run from children’s service to join the Teens’ Church because it was almost like the main church; they had their own choir, ushers, CCU, etc. Looking back, I really regret running from the children's service. I would have curbed most of the troubles I later encountered in my Christian walk if I had started from the children’s service for the nitty-gritty of Christianity.

Anyway, as a member of the Crown Control Unit (CCU), it was part of my duty to be present always to arrange the chairs before and after service, and to be on watch during service for any strange happenings. The best part of joining the team wasn’t the work, it was the way each member of the team was treated as a member of a nuclear family in the midst of an extended one. One thing most churches today are missing out on strategically. Our team leader was so concerned about each one of us that we just couldn’t miss our meeting day – Saturdays. Though the church met during the week, Saturdays were our official meeting day to prepare for the teens' Sunday service. And these were the meetings our leader, Aaron, will share his Christian faith and some stories to encourage our faith. There were days I had to walk from Mataheko to North Kaneshie industrial area just to join this new family I had found and felt attached to.

Fast forward some months or years later, my dad asked us not to attend any Nigerian church again (I still can’t explain because I still don’t have the full story). Just like that, I was forced to stop attending Winners Chapel. Dad was barely in the country for a month or two, but for some strange reason, I thought he would notice if I disobeyed him. Though I later attended Pure Fire Ministries (I joined them at Circle before they officially moved to their permanent location at Achimota), Foursquare Gospel Church (the Mataheko branch); I did not enjoy the intimacy I had encountered at the Winners Chapel teens' church that shaped and encouraged my faith. At both churches, there was a teen church but again it was nothing like what I had experienced at Winners Chapel. (Please, I am in no way trying to belittle or tarnish the image of these churches; I am only sharing a sincere opinion.)

At this juncture, I had to take my faith journey into my own hands.  And as ignorant as I was then, I tried to make up several rules and vows to keep myself morally correct in the eyes of all.  And as you guessed rightly, I failed at every one of them miserably. The little boy who was then so eager each day to tell others about Christ was now toying with two or more immoralities each day. I was now going to church because it was a requirement at home instead of it being out of eagerness to assemble with other Christian brothers and sisters to share our faith and encourage each other. And, since it was a requirement, I wanted to find a way to make good use of it. Without thinking twice, I decided to make it a preying ground for ladies. At that young age, I had already started drinking alcohol, watching pornography, gambling, etc with no hesitation. I had tasted beer, gin, kasapreko, etc. Twice in JHS, I was caught and punished for drinking alcohol. In JHS 1 for example, I was part of a group of students who were caught for drinking palm wine during “Our Day” (the last day celebration we have at the end of each term). Though we were to face discipline the following term, it didn’t stop me from drinking some more after school. I got home drunk and drowsy. As I made my way into the house through my step mum’s shop which was in front of the main house, I stopped at the exit which led to the main house and slept. Luckily for me, my dad and step mum were in Dubai. My sister took me to the bathroom, bathed me, clothed me, fed me, and asked me to promise her never to repeat it again. My dad died never knowing about it.

What am I driving at with the above story? From the age of 12 till today, I can say I have recited the sinners’ prayer more than ten (10) times. Each time I have vowed to God never to repeat the old life. And like a song on auto-repeat, the same lifestyle is repeated or another thing pulls me back. Sometimes or often than not, the experiences are worse than before. Though I feel disgusted and rejected, I have always sensed the Lord still stretching His hand and pleading with me to come back to Him. There were times I told Him I needed to work on myself before coming back to Him again and all He would say is, “No, come the way you are and let Me do the perfect cleansing.” For the days I refused, I had ended up in the worst state that it again took only His Grace and Love to get me out of those ragged experiences. I have ever since stopped depending on my strength or some rules and regulations to look perfect in the eyes of men. My agenda has and will forever be one – “To please God through Christ”. If along the way I make mistakes or fall out, I will keep trying as long as I can still hear Him calling out for me from the Cross. Like Peter, I will try again because He has promised never to leave me nor forsake me.

If you are reading this and you are thinking you are of no use to God because you have fallen out after making this or that vow or failing to abide by the six hundred or ten commandments, I want to tell you this, “Jesus is still calling out from the Cross. He wants to remind you of the reason He left eternity into time – ‘To save you from your sins.’ He allowed those lashes which ripped the flesh off his back because He was thinking of this moment. He endured the excruciating pain of nails going through his palms to keep yours perfectly opened and sealed to hold on to His love. He hanged on a cross naked to cover yours. The least you can do for Him now is to try again. Do not give up on your faith or on yourself. Ask for His forgiveness and depend on Him to cleanse you. Jesus still loves you. Make that commitment to try again no matter what others will say.”

NB: If you are not depending on the Holy Spirit as a believer, you will always fall no matter the rules or regulations you adhere to. We can do all things through the Spirit of Christ who strengthens us from within, not through rules/vows which strengthens us from without.

Remain in the blessings of the Lord as you remain in Christ.

MD