HOW MY LATE FATHER TAUGHT ME “THE FEAR OF GOD”

LUKE 12:5 (TLB)       But I’ll tell you whom to fear – fear God who has the power to kill and then cast into hell.

It was one cool evening in one of the residential areas in Accra. The sun was slowly being swallowed by the earth. Darkness was gradually taking control of the sky. At the rooftop of my father's house sat my little brother and me as we tried our best to enjoy the boring evening view of this “dry” neighborhood. This happened to be our spot anytime daddy and mummy were busy with visitors, and this evening they happened to have had one and as culture demands from every “good” child, we had to excuse them. Sincerely, being away from daddy especially was a breath of fresh air; especially when he is not in a good mood. With me, daddy was never in a good mood when his children were around him. He always had the face of a man irritated by the presence of houseflies. So, anytime I found myself away from him, it could be compared to that housefly that was so glad that it missed that heavy swat by an inch.

As we enjoyed the view from the rooftop, one of our next-door neighbor’s daughter, the eldest who I happened to be of the same age with, came to join us. Though it was normal for her to come to the house, we were surprised to see her at that particular time since darkness had almost taken control of the sky. We did not complain because we thought she had met dad, mum, and the visitors who were sitting directly facing the gate before coming in. Little did I know that my worst nightmare was to happen in a few minutes.

It is true that time flies when a boy and a girl meet. Unknown to us, we had been at the rooftop till 7pm. This was abnormal because my brother and myself do not usually sit there after 6pm because of mosquitoes. And for some strange reason, we have been there till 7pm. Dad, who was at this time a bit worried, yells my name from where he was sitting. I quickly run off leaving my little brother and the lady.

Thinking I was quick to get to him when he called, I was wrong. According to daddy, he had been yelling for some minutes. I didn’t want to worsen the anger so I quickly apologized. Since he knew that I was there with my little brother, he asked that I called him so we can go and get our favorite Hausa Koko for supper. Now, this is where I made the greatest mistake in my life. Instead of calling my little brother and the lady, my naïve little-self went to call my little brother, who also foolishly left the lady there with the excuse of returning in a minute. The minute we walked out of the gate to go and get the porridge, we knew we were up for trouble. For five minutes we stood in front of the gate wondering if we should go back in and come out with the lady. But the thought of daddy’s mood just made it difficult to accept that option. I called the lady on the phone and asked her to come out so we go and get the porridge together. Without hesitation, she was quick to add that she could not come out because she was also scared of dad. At this point, I wished I had Harry Potter’s invisible cloak.

Then the final option came to mind – “Madam-I-do-not-fear-anything”. If you are guessing who that is, that is the lady’s little sister. Like my brother, she was two years younger and she was scared of nothing. I mean, if Hitler stood at one corner and asked that no one disturbed him with questions and unfortunately for Hitler she had a question, she would disturb him with that particular question till he gives her an answer. And she happened to be a very close friend of my dad because of that. When she comes to the house and meets dad, they could talk like colleagues trying to catch up with life after some years. 

We quickly went to their house to narrate our little “wahala” to her. Without a word, she walked past us, went into our house and within minutes came out dragging her shy sister behind. Embarrassed but glad, we asked her how it went and she just smiled. We laughed it off and went with them to get the porridge. I had totally forgotten that the ladies had set a bomb in the house for me. Again, we took forever buying the porridge. When we had seen the ladies off and finally arrived at our gate, reality hit me like never before. As I stretched my hand to open the gate, my prayer was for my dad to be in the room preparing for bed.

I was very sure the devil had given himself a seat at one side of the house and was sipping on a glass of champagne when I opened the gate and dad was right there facing the gate. In my mind, I had selected a good spot for myself at the Awudome Cemetery, my coffin design and was ready for the death sentence. The first quick strategy was to act like nothing had happened. But daddy was not ready to let this go. He was not ready to let this slide like that. It was the first time his first son had brought a lady to the house at night and he needed to address the issue as a responsible father before his house turns into a brothel in the near future.

DAD: So, you were bold enough to take a lady to my room when I stepped out for some minutes and when I came yelling your name, you told me you were at the rooftop with your brother?

(At this time, my little brother just accepted his role as the victim. He silently took his seat by dad and watched the scene unfold.)

ME: Daddy…

DAD: Shut up!

STEP MUM: O Emmanuel! How can you say that? He wouldn’t do that.

(Anytime mummy comes in, we knew we would walk free. But no! Like I said, the devil was not ready to end his movie too soon for any emergency.)

DAD: Now, if this is the life you want to live, listen to me very carefully. If any lady should call you with a pregnancy report, let these words ring in your ear immediately – I HAVE DISOWNED YOU! Do you hear me?

STEP MUM: O Emmanuel!

To this, my little brother helps him to his feet and escorts him to the room with step-mum following. I stood there and watched them go as if my feet had been held by a shackle. This was the first time my dad was threatening me, and instead of threatening me with death, he rather threatens to “DISOWN/ABANDON”.

The question I asked myself was, “Is dad already fed up with me in his life?”

I was around 13/14years when dad said those words to me. And like magic, those words kept my third leg in check for some good years. The devil created all the avenues for a good show, but each time I thought of those four words, the lady immediately looked like my dad. If you have watched “Truth or Dare”, you would understand me. We would do every other thing but immediately sex came up, I would see dad repeating those words.

Growing up as a Christian, the Lord has used that incident to teach me about the “FEAR OF GOD”. If I was not ready to lose my earthly father by impregnating a lady, then how much more my Heavenly Father? 

According to the teachings of Jesus, the sign of true love for someone is in the keeping or doing of the commandment(s) set by the one you claim to love (John 14:15). And this doing and keeping of commandment(s) totally has nothing to do with what one feels and wants; it has everything to do with what the person one claims to love feels and wants.

What we have ignorantly come to label as “old testament doctrine” is, in fact, the definition of “True Love” biblically. Instead of doing what pleases God, we do what pleases us and claim to love God. Meanwhile, the ABSENCE OF “THE FEAR OF GOD (LOVE FOR GOD)” is the reason we live as we please and not as it pleases God.

To fear God is to love God. To love God is to do as He wishes.

Remain in the blessings of the Lord as you remain in Christ.

MD.