Psalm 109:4 (TPT)
Though I love them, they stand accusing me like Satan for what I’ve never done. I will pray until I become prayer itself.
There is a place in prayer where the one seeking God's face on a matter begins to feel calm and joy in their spirit, which cannot be explained physically with any form of experience. For that man or woman, something within makes them know that the prayer point has been answered and that they need no more attention in the spiritual realm but just patience for it to manifest in the realm of men. Before this understanding was made clear to me through the teachings of Pastor Chris and the in-person prayer meetings of Pastor Enoch, I used to stop praying on a matter once I was tired. I have always believed I didn't have to press on issues because I had all right in the heavens and on earth to command and see things come to pass (this is still true for certain kingdom truths). Then, If I start praying and minutes into the prayer, I sense that I am feeling sleepy, I would turn that prayer area into a hotel suite and comfortably find a relaxing sleeping posture to comfort my eyes. In my defence, I fell asleep in the presence of God. God saw me in His presence and allowed me to sleep.
Before I emphasise our need to spend time in the place of prayer till we receive our solution or answer from Wisdom, Jesus Christ, let me quickly share a painful but life-transforming experience that I may never forget. I have already shared how a friend from Bible school, Pastor James, helped me develop a love for long prayers while on campus. I have also shared how, during my Bible school days, I had the opportunity to lead the youth wing of my church. Well, this painful experience happened during that period. At Anagkazo, I had a daily schedule where I had to try to sleep before or after nine so I could wake up at midnight or an hour or two after midnight to pray and read for at least three hours. This schedule sometimes changes when I work on campus or when we have evening service or something special.
One day, after working so hard because of our usual rotational duties on campus, I went to sleep, hoping to skip the usual midnight prayer and study schedule. But this night was different. My eyes opened at the exact time, yet my body was too exhausted to move. "Why are my eyes opening when my body knows I am tired and need the rest to be effective at my work in the morning?" I thought. Well, I decided to close my eyes and hope to have that usual experience where we feel we are closing our eyes briefly only to wake up hours later. I did, and strangely, it was just for a few minutes. Now, because it was a period where I was helping out with the youth wing, I spent two out of at least three hours during my midnight schedule to pray for the youth members every day and hopefully get a word for those who needed it. It was challenging to stop praying for myself and concentrate on others, but the joy and fulfilment of hearing people say, "'Thank you, I needed to hear that.' 'Your word is a confirmation.' 'God bless you for the Word.'" was enough reward for my spirit. So, I stepped out of my room and went down the long staircase after wearing all types of clothing to shield me from the cold. Instead of walking to the prayer garden this time, I stopped at the open space in front of the restaurant. We mainly use that space when heading to the car park. I was too tired to walk long, so I prayed there.
This prayer session was different. I started to play my playlist and speak in tongues; immediately, I was led to pray for two particular youth members—one gentleman and one lady. I mentioned their names and continued speaking in tongues. Some minutes into the prayer, I realised the urge to pray more for this gentleman kept rising. As ignorant as I was then, I took it as one of those days when I needed to speak by faith and let God handle the rest. I quickly talked in faith (So I thought), and then I turned and started walking towards my hostel. Taking a few stairs, I was urged to return to the spot and continue praying. I was tired and couldn't take it anymore. But I obeyed and went back to pray. It was either Thursday or Friday. I tried to pray for extra minutes and returned to my hostel, hardening my heart against any leading. Long story short, I went home for Sunday Service only to be told that the gentleman had died either on that day or the day afterwards (I can't remember the exact day). Based on what I know today, that leading that evening was a PRAYER SOS. It wasn't as if the Lord needed me to perform some extraordinary wonders, but I was one of those selected by grace to support him in prayers and yet I chose to sleep. It took lots of talking from some close friends to shake the guilt off, but I knew the lesson had been learned. I was never going to allow anything to happen to any relative, friend, or whoever was close to me as long as I could pray for them. I will keep praying until I get that joy and calm in my spirit, no matter how I feel.
Based on this painful experience, I could relate to Pastor Chris and Pastor Enoch's teachings on the need to spend long hours in prayer on a particular matter, no matter how one feels, until one knows in one's spirit that the matter has been settled. How would you know? That was also my question then. But you will know when your prayer has been answered. You will know when you have that 'knowing'. The day I saw myself dancing like a madman after days and weeks of praying on a particular matter, I knew I had caught that insight. I didn't just have that 'knowing'; I had a dream that confirmed it and then received two random prophecies to verify it again. Brothers and sisters, this was Hebrews chapter 11, verse 1, playing out before me. It was more than head knowledge or vim at work; I had all the needed evidence to shame the devil each time he wanted to make me feel sorrow for a supposed "delayed response" from God.
Don't stop praying! You haven't prayed enough if you haven't encountered Wisdom for the needed solution. We don't measure the depth of our prayers by the hours spent; we measure it by the amount of wisdom we receive in our encounter with Wisdom each time we enter our prayer closets.
Remain in the blessings of God as you remain in Christ.
MD.